Okay so I didn’t get my unemployment check and I’m getting very stressed out about school. To try and keep my mind off of my dwindling funds and the mountains of homework and college applications still to come I decided to clean the whole house and start studying for my classes a week before they start. I figured if I kept busy I wouldn’t have time to think about going bankrupt. Well it was just starting to work when I walked out to the mailbox to see a notice from unemployment asking me to fill out paperwork I had already filled out and mailed. Guess they lost it…good my check will be even later.
So I’m feeling very doom and gloom and I decide since my feet hurt, instead of cooking I’ll paint. So I start my Bob Ross experiment achieving the sort of quiet calm you can only get when you are so exhausted from not breaking down and sobbing that your brain just stops. So I realize that I’m doing pretty well: I’m not over thinking, I’m not stressing out about how I use the brush or how much paint, what color…I’m just doing because this is so much better than thinking about living in a box and who to give my dog to since I won’t be able to afford dog food.
And my land with shadowing looks like Bob Ross’s. This is great!
Well then he says to add white to make the reflection in the water and it’s gone. My Zen is gone. I make mush. Mushy land. So I decided screw Bob! This is his fault! If you’d just stop using your fun and amusing adjectives I’d know what the hell to do with the brush. And screw your stupid camera man who keeps zooming out when you do detailed work so I can’t see what you are doing with the brush! And screw this stupid wooden palette that keeps absorbing the paint giving me less and less area to work with since I can’t clean it off!
I’m making waves! That’s right waves! And not the I’m going to write the maker of the Bob Ross kit “waves” but actual waves on my painting. And they are going to be crashing into my beach which will explain the mush look. And my waves look good! Bob Ross good.
So after the catharsis of my waves I start the DVD back up feeling more on par with Bob. He has me make a really really big tree, which means I just stab the canvas with my brush to make leaves this time. And my stabbing looks awesome and my tree is awesome!
And then he wants it to have a friend… And he puts the friend right over my super awesome superstar painter waves. So now the best of my waves are covered by a tree
Bob knew and is having his revenge. You will not paint outside Bob’s lines! Oh well, didn’t need that little self esteem boost anyway…Not like anything else is going right, right now why should my waves get to exist?
Well the trees lead to bushes, which lead to us making a path. My path looks kind of like Bob’s but it isn’t great so I decide since I was so awesome with the waves I’d fix my path…I make it worse… It now looks horrendous and nothing like Bob’s.
Ugh, okay what’s next Bob? I need a pick me up! Do something easy like birds in the distance….Wait what? Bob what are you saying??? No this painting can’t be done! Please Bob you gotta stick around and help me fix this mess…
alright bye Bob. Thanks for the lesson in humility.
So my first painting is done and my conclusion is this; while it doesn’t look any where near as good as Bob’s it is much much much better than anything I could have done on my own. I’ve never been artistically gifted when it comes to painting. Often what I draw barely resembles what it’s meant to and drawing utensils have much finer tips so just imagine what I’m like with a paintbrush. So I’m pretty proud of my mushy painting. It looks like a landscape and that’s a huge accomplishment for me. Especially, since even the crappy waves that are still visible are still pretty rockin’
So I think I may try and recreate the painting without Bob and I definitely want to try making a Bob Ross flower and maybe give it to my mom.
Okay I’m exhausted. I’m going to go finish doing chores, reading, and then let Zoey lick the tears off my face while I hug her.